Tuesday, December 23, 2014

RATTLE THAT CAGE ~ Merry F!*@ Christmas!

I know the title of this seems a little scary, but I promise you I am probably the most sappy hearted Christmas lover you have ever met!  Yes, I cry over every tender hearted word, song, gift.  In all honesty it is because I am so grateful for all of the love in my life and every opportunity I have ever been given.  However, I also know this is the time of year when most of us are contemplating what all we have done in the past year and what on earth we might want to do in the coming year.

For some reason us human beings are particularly good at building our own CAGES and then we are gifted with an incredible self pity and the ability to BLAME anyone and every circumstance for that cage so that we have an excuse to stay in it. The bars on our cage are made from various things, to name a few here: Procrastination, Fear, Low Self Esteem, Laziness and ROUTINE.  Sadly, the reason why many actually have low self esteem is because they are giving into procrastination, laziness and fear. They go hand in hand.  When you know in your mind's eye the person you really BELIEVE you are capable of being, but yet you are not progressing towards that....guess what the result is?  Yep, you guessed it depression and low self esteem. It's time to MAKE THAT BELIEF YOUR REALITY!

For many of us it seems the only time we are JOLTED, literally, into change is by some outside circumstance or crisis that wakes us up: i.e. a break up, divorce, loss of a job.  And for most of us we might work towards change for a little while, but then go right back to where we were before. Why is it sooooo hard to change? 

Well, I think #1, it's because our brains are so accustomed to our ROUTINE. 

Most of us tend to do the same things day in and day out and not really changing much. I think this actually becomes more the truth when you become a little COMFORTABLE....like that nice soft warm bed on a winters morning. You don't want to get out of it because you will be uncomfortable and cold- ha ha. Viscous cycle isn't it? You set a goal, you achieve it, you feel good about it, then you settle into it, relax and then boom all of the sudden your feeling sullen.  Why?  Because we always have to feel like we are growing (at least I do). It's kind of the difference between a beautiful rushing river and a stagnate swamp....and trust me the swamp....stinks. We are like the seasons, we have to go through a planting, a harvest, bountiful  indulgence, rest, hibernation and then planting again.

So I challenge you today to RATTLE THAT CAGE!!!!!  Do something different today to change up the way you see the world, the way you see yourself.  It could be anything from taking a walk, to signing up for those guitar or art lessons you keep talking about. DO IT NOW, NOW!  Do you know you only have 5 SECONDS to actually take action before the romance starts to fade. It's called DIMINISHING INTENT!

The #2 reason it is so hard to change (in my opinion) is lack of discipline.  NEWSFLASH!! You're not going to FEEL like doing it.  I don't like doing the dishes or laundry, never have, but my parents made me do it.....and well I don't like to smell stinking dishes and stinking laundry. So guess what, I DO IT.  Now the hard thing is when you have let yourself slip on your discipline, that muscle becomes weak and you have to start somewhere to build it back up.  This is where the APPLE A DAY philosophy can come in handy.

  First, find out what it is you need to work on. Could be your not eating as healthy as you would like. Start with eating AN APPLE A DAY! Perhaps, you need to work on your drawing but are always avoiding it. Start with ONE DRAWING A DAY!  Perhaps, you want to keep your home more in order. Start with, MAKING THE BED EVERY DAY! as soon as you wake up. 

 Set a time limit, like 10 minutes a day on drawing, 10 minutes a day entering those dreaded receipts into your budget.  Now here's the rub, most of us feel so PATHETIC  just doing a simple little task and we don't see how it can make much difference...and we also know that after a few days even doing this little task will prove hard. (ahh, ahh ahh- be careful here because your brain is full of bullshit and just trying to trick you to go back to the routine) But, I PROMISE YOU, you will feel sooooo much better if you do and you will build MOMENTUM that will lead to more positive changes in your life.  You will have more self esteem because you followed through and your discipline muscle will start to grow, which will in turn make you more excited about change and RATTLING your own cage at will.

And on a lighter note, ha ha ha, here are some cute little paintings I did for Christmas. These really got me into the Christmas mood and boy was it great just doing something for pure fun!  I think it's good to balance your really serious study with some lighthearted doodling fun.  Hope you enjoy.


MERRY CHRISTMAS & A Happy New Year! 

 Remember to visit my website: www.kellifolsom.com to view more paintings or to sign up for emails on classes.


  1. Great post, Kelli. I'm feeling this low self esteem issue currently. I'm doing a commission of three generations of men and have done the grandfather pretty successfully. Now am moving on to the son and then grandson. But I'm convinced that I'll f*&% up the whole painting. Ugh. Just to the point you're making.

    1. I am SO GLAD that you found it helpful Jim! Mostly, I try and share things that I have had a really hard time dealing with myself. So this post really comes from a place of compassion. I also know what it takes to break through those barriers and it takes an amazing amount of courage every time we face that blank canvas. I greatly admire you for pushing through and completing your works regardless of the fear. Merry Christmas Jim and thanks for the positive comment!

  2. Good advice and I love your artwork!

    1. Thank you so much Teresa for following my blog and my work, I greatly appreciate that. As I said to Jim, this blog comes from a deep place of compassion and from very personal experience. I am glad that it was helpful to you :)

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  4. Thank you so much Mathieu. I am glad that it was of some value to you, which is always my aim- to be useful and hopefully help others. This can be the best year you've had yet! Godspeed.


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